Being a parent is just simply hard. Kids drive you to breaking points that are completely unexpected and buttons are pushed that one doesn’t even know exist. I am quite certain nothing has ever been as much of a double edge sword in my life between pure unrated joy and sheer rage. But at the same time, when they are asleep and the house is quiet, I think on the day and would change nothing.
The girls are about to turn two. Like every parent, I’m wondering where time went. Seems like yesterday we were bringing Ari home from the hospital and starting our journey into parenthood. They are talking in full sentences, running marathons in the house, and laughing when things amuse them. I find myself proud of them and the way they are blossoming into individuals. It makes me beam to think of the girls as my children. I dreamt about what my children would look like and be like since I was a child and am ecstatic at Ari and Kaia are more than I could have dreamed.
The past couple of weeks have simply been TERRIBLE. I want to lose it every time they don’t listen. So far, I have been able to handle everything, but the lack of listing has driven me to the edge.
Going out in public with them has been quite a challenge. After our trip to JoAnn’s last week, I may never go anywhere that doesn’t 1.) have a cart that seats two or 2.) has a cart that will seat two in the basket. Stores are clearly not twin friendly…might just be trips to Costco for now on. They don’t hold hands, they knock/grab stuff off the shelf, and worse they run away from me in different directions. None of this is ok with me. It becomes a safety and respect issue. I usually leave the store trying to breath, holding two hands in one, holding my bags in the other hand, and holding my wallet in my armpit. When they are in the car and I’m able to sit down, I just try to not scream. I always ask myself, “Why did I even leave the house with them?!” Truly doesn’t matter where we go the scene is always the same.
I could handle the quest of taking them out in public, but to add to that, they have been a handful at nap time. So much so that somedays I don’t even want to try because I don’t want my buttons to be pushed too hard that they break. It all started because they learned…to…climb…out…of…their….CRIBS! This might not be terrible but there are two of them! They climb into each other’s crib and keep each other awake. I recently asked for advice on FaceBook. There were a lot of really great suggestions but few we could actually try. We only have one bedroom. There is no other way to put their cribs but touching in a little nook. The only thing that separates their beds from ours is a curtain. It isn’t that they are growing out of naps, I would be totally fine with that, it is that they are a complete mess without the nap.
All this ranting to share what transpired today…what wielded all three ladies to tears.
We went to the party store and the dollar store this morning. I just wanted to pick up last minute stuff for their parties on Saturday and Sunday. Does the party store have shopping carts? No. But they do have a huge closing sale of 50-75% off. I’ll let you just imagine what transpired at this store and why the owner quietly gave me candy to stop them from crying after Ari ran out the front door as Kaia was pulling all the suckers off the shelf. Dollar Tree has a cart that I can put one in the child seat and one in the basket. The whole time Kaia says, “No Mama, no!” for no reason and trying to take Ari’s candy that the party store lady had given them. Ari of course shrieks, “NO! It’s mine!”
We eventually make it home without me wanting to scream in the car and eat lunch. So far the day is sitting at a five (one being the worst and ten being the best). Average days are pretty good and desirable in my book. Things quickly changed as we approached nap time. Diapers got changed, stories got read, it was time to lay down. As my first defense, I let them choose a book to look at in bed. The rules are- you lose it if you get up or try and climb out. I kiss them and say I’ll be back to check on them after I go to the bathroom.
5 minutes later I go back in the bedroom…
I smell poop. Please let one of them JUST need a diaper change…
Must not have said please loud enough. Both girls were in Kaia’s crib. Ari just had a shirt on. Kaia had a wipe she was using to clean up the smear marks with. It was everywhere…
Their logic: Ari needs a diaper change and Kaia can help change it. They even hide the diaper and pants between the crib and wall so no one will know.
Reality: Both girls go in the shower. Daddy comes home and all three of us are crying. Bedding goes in the wash…cribs get completely disinfected…and girls are fast asleep.
This was officially a one on my day scale. Here is to hoping tomorrow will be a two or higher!