Having kids, having twins, I get to hear a lot of outlandish comments and questions from strangers. The worst twin question I have encountered was, “Were they natural?” Completely innocent question that is really hurtful and not something a stranger should ask. Plus, what baby isn’t natural?!
Today, I got called a bad mom. I’m only going to let this go surface deep because 1.) Big Eyed lady was pretty off 2.) it wasn’t true in this situation and 3.) she just simply can’t judge my motherhood skills by a one minute exchange.
I love Trader Joe’s but also loath it. We shop there every week. By we, I mean Kaia, Ari, Finnian, and myself. The store just isn’t great for twins or more than two bodies in an isle, and it attracts a diverse crowd. It seems there are really laid back people and people who are very posh with the “don’t breathe on me” look.
As we were going down the canned food isle for marinara sauce, Kaia grabbed a packaged of sun dried tomatoes. One of the rules for the girls is to ask before placing items in the cart. I’m not sure if I can count the number of times I have come home to extra things in the grocery bags…fully paid for but unnoticed by myself because my “hands are full.” Quick note, I cringe every time someone says to me, “You got your hands full!” It happens, on average, three times a day. As Kaia placed the tomatoes in the cart, I grabbed them out and told her she had to put them back. In route, she approaches Big Eyed and the tensions start to snap. Kaia was trying to squeeze past Big Eyed’s cart and said “excuse me.”
Big Eyed looks at her repugnantly saying, “What do you want!”
Kaia, “My mom says to put this away.”
Big Eyed, “Well! Go around!”
Me with a mother bear glare to Big Eyed, “You could use nicer words.”
Big Eyed, “You’re a bad mom.”
Me, “Actually, I think I’m a good mom.” And we walk away.
The second half of the shopping trip was just dealing with the normal shenanigans of having two three and a half year olds pushing carts their size around the store and arm holding a 15 month old because I forgot the Ergo. If they find Carl and get lollipops they have to wait until we are in the van and have listened in the check out. Today didn’t go so well so they didn’t get the lollipops.
Ari crying because she wanted her Trader Joe’s lollipop
Big Eyed doesn’t know me or my kids. And to be honest, I don’t think Kaia was in the wrong. My girls, and myself for that matter, are very assertive. I think this lady was very uncomfortable with kids and a mom who stood up for her kid. I was concerned that Kaia would get her feelings hurt because of the briskly rude adult she had interacted with. I hope my children know I’m there to stand up for them and be their biggest advocate.
I was upset for someone to asses this situation and deem it not good parenting. I don’t agree, but it hurts to be looked at in that light regardless if it is right or wrong. I’m trying really hard. I want my kids to listen and be respectful. I know I fail and have a lot of work to do in improving my parenting. It is hard…so incredibably hard at times. I wonder if Big Eyed has any kids and is able to really know what it’s like.
I brushed it all off, made spaghetti, and got ready for family movie night. Tim went to the storage unit to get Finnian’s chair and once again, we have been stolen from. The girls watched a movie and had dinner as we called the cops and took care of all the pleasantness of theft.
I should have known this day would been ‘one of those days’ when I got an AM call from the insurance company explaining the next steps in our van saga. One of their claims estimators is coming out tomorrow or Wednesday to quote what the damage is. Sadly, the lady didn’t sound to optimistic about the van. Of course, she hasn’t seen it so there is hope. I’m glad this is out of my hands and will all be over with soon.
So! Please send all your prayers, good vibes and good karma our way. I truly don’t know how much more I can handle. I’m maxed out and overwhelmed from this two week roller coaster.