A couple weeks ago Tim and I went on a youth staff retreat for our church. The retreat is designed to plan for the year, connecting about our goals, and bonding as leaders. This will be our fifth year on the youth staff team and we both really enjoy the role. One of the topics that we were talking about is coming up with some core things we would like to see become our identity as a group. One of the things that was proposed was to BE THANKFUL.
The idea that you are thankful and not a complainer. BOOM, it hit me hard. I don’t want to be a complainer, I want to be thankful.
How can someone always be thankful and be honest and be able to talk about things that are frustrating without complaining? There is this idea that if you need to vent and not complain the difference is this physical HURT. If something is going on that hurts your person so bad that you can feel it in your body. That it is so hurtful that it makes your stomach clinch it isn’t complaining if you try and talk about it. Having a messy house, being constantly on Kuhnau time (10-30 minutes late), or not being able to find parking are COMPLAINING things.
Feeling discriminated against because I’m a female during job assignments at Esperanza, when deciding who will drive, and feeling other people put limits on me are things that really…physically…HURT. Those are the things that make me cry. It has always hurt for someone who doesn’t know my ability to look at me and then look at a male counterpart and ask the male to do a task. If they don’t know my ability and both myself and the male have no experience in, say, building a deck…why is it ok for the male to be the one asked to help instead of a blanket offer? Sure, if I offered to help builded the deck it would be totally fine and ok…but…I have to ask…I have to FIGHT for my opportunity to do it. And that is exactly why it hurts.
Discrimination- is action that denies social participation or human rights to categories of people based on prejudice.
Prejudice-preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.
My question of why comes. Why is my male counterpart the one that is picked when, we as a society look at the two sex? Why are there such a vast income difference, any difference for that matter, between female and males with the same credentials in the same job? And why do I subscribe to the same gender discriminations?
IT IS NOT OK…IT IS NOT OK…IT IS NOT OK!
I have been so hurt and upset about this (just ask Tim) from people that are not meaning to hurt me. There have been people that are really kind and carrying and frankly, sweet that I have walked away from feeling discriminated agains because I’m a female. I’m hurt by their words or actions and want to see our society as a whole change our view point on things. I have been so upset that giving up seems the only way to move on with a happy life.
…but I have two daughters and a son…I hurt thinking of them going through the things that have hurt me. So I am going to try and pave a path that might put less limits on them. I will continue to live and interact in my community that has an equality imbalance. The only difference I can make is with in my own world view and living by example. And maybe, just maybe, my children’s world view will be of equality and they will have a limitless full life.
“cousin” Jack and Finnian